Praise for Winning At Love


Firefighters, police officers, physicians, military officers, political leaders and corporate executives who want to have successful marriages and relationships should read and re-read this book.  Doctors Groder and Webster have developed some must-have advice for all of us.  Winning At Love is a lot less expensive than divorce lawyers.

Winning At Love explains why being successful and competitive in our careers does not transfer to our domestic relationships.  Mandatory reading for all Alpha males!

Groder and Webster’s Winning at Love is a must read for every firefighter, law enforcement officer and career military person who hopes to have a successful and loving relationship.  They make it clear that the elements we need to be successful in our careers are detrimental to our love lives.” Winning At Love would make an excellent wedding gift for the Alpha Males in your life.  Clear and concise reading that could keep them from heartbreak and divorce court later on.

Dan Jones, Chapel Hill Fire Chief; Editor-in-Chief, National Fire & Rescue Magazine; Past President, International Society of Fire Service Instructors; regular on-air commentator for CNN Headline News Network on breaking fire and rescue stories.


Men are taught to pursue money, prestige, and power, substitutes for our human needs (Maslow) of love, meaning and empowerment. As substitutes they are never enough and the skills and attitudes we learn in their pursuit can be harmful to our loving relationships. This book helps the alpha male develop a new set of skills to negotiate the path to a loving connection with our mates. This path requires courage to face our vulnerability that is part of any meaningful relationship.  I like the book, and feel it is a great contribution to making connections in our relationships.

Mike Mcleod, M.D.
Professor Emeritus, Department of Medicine, Duke University Medical Center


If you're yearning for an exciting, stimulating, and energizing relationship which will last, then you have found the right book. 

In "Winning at Love" Groder and Webster examine the difficulty that Alphas have in developing and sustaining meaningful relationships. 

As a USAF Pilot, Vietnam Vet, and successful Xerox Manager,  I often struggled with my most important relationship in life, my wonderful wife, Karen, who endured me.  She is now deceased, and this book has helped me recognize the major mistakes that we alphas often make in our relationships. Today we are exposed to an unprecedented amount of advice and information on how to succeed in our lives.  We gradually come to realize that we have nothing to guide us through our lives, but the clarity of our thinking.  For the reader, this book will help you to understand how to sustain a loving relationship with an engaging partner without compromising your integrity or your honesty.  It will show you ways to avoid the "Drama Triangle" and other forms of crisis which can disconnect you from each other.  It will provide you with helpful, common sense, and understandable tools to manage through the inevitable problems that arise in any relationship.  This book will help you find a pathway not only to extraordinary love, but also to a new sense of self-realization.  Read it and learn some of the most important lessons in life.

Jim Gagen,
Former Marketing Product Manager, Xerox Corporation; Lt. Colonel, USAF Retired; MA. History 


Winning At Love is brilliant!  It illuminates the covert fear and shame down in our shadow selves from which we alphas like to escape to the pinnacle of illusory power.  The authors’ humility, personal examples and easygoing voice all make this an easy read without any off-putting pretenses.  As recovering alphas, they teach and inspire us to take the more courageous path to an ultimately more loving relationship.  This is a book that speaks to the heart of the matter.

Bryce Kaye, Ph.D.,
Clinical Psychologist
Author of The Marriage First Aid Kit


Winning at Love is a must-read for all us high-powered, successful alpha males. Authors Pat Webster and Marty Groder really nailed what it means to be an alpha male, as well as the problems that we can bring into our intimate relationship. I recognized parts of myself in reading this book and found their steps for addressing relationship problems to be very helpful. It takes a real man to read this book, and just like in martial arts, to practice, practice, and practice.

Hanshi Jessie Bowen,
Ninth Degree Black Belt in Karate, author, professional speaker, facilitator, consultant, and on staff at Duke University, Zen MindGame coach, Silva Success Coach, and Lecturer.


For more than 30 years, in both my personal and professional life, I have observed good strong men struggle with the agony of strained and failed relationships.  Time and again the frustrations they have come to me with is, "I can't get through to her, every time we talk it turns into a fight, or Why can't she understand what I mean?"  Winning At Love is the easy to understand "how to" manual that gives you step by step instructions to successful communication with those you love, and also explains the mechanics of what doesn't work.  If there ever was a "Fix It" guide for guys (and women!) who want to have great relationships, this is it!  And the bonus is.....women find men who communicate well really really sexy!  So, roll up your sleeves, get out your wrenches, and prepare to fine tune your love life into a big block high horsepower winner!

Mary Blevins,
22 year career Fire Officer, Mother of three amazing adult Alpha Males, ardent supporter (and in love with one) of The Good Guys!


If you’re an alpha, this book is a must-read. Alpha’s love to win, but winning at love is often their greatest challenge. Dr Groder and Dr Webster have created the playbook to navigate the tricky terrain.  For us an an Alpha couple, their images, wisdom and practical formulas ring true, page after page.  We choose to live in Loveland and hope you do too.

Kate Ludeman and Eddie Erlandson,
Authors, Alpha Male Syndrome   

Start Winning at Love Today!

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